THAT STRANGE FEELING CALLED LOVE

I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM AND AT TIMES I WISH HE WOULD JUST GO THE FUCK AWAY. HE IS MY FIRST. MY FIRST EVERYTHING EVEN MY FIRST BROKEN HEART. I HATE HIS SMILE, I LOVE HIS SMILE, I WANT HIM TO HOLD ME AND THEN AGAIN I DON'T.

I HATE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME I HATE THE HE SMELLS, BUT WHEN HE NEAR ME I LOVE HIS SCENT HE SMELLS SO CLEAN, BUT YET SO MANLY, HIS SCENT IS LIKE THE WIND WITH A NICE COOL BREEZE.

PLEASE KISS ME ON THE BACK OF MY NECK EVER SO LIGHTLY LEAVING A LIGHT TINGLE FEELING THROUGH MY BODY. NOW KISS ME ON THE NECK WITH YOUR TONGUE ENDING IN A LITTLE NIBBLE ( DEEP BREATH). I LOVE YOU! PLEASE WHISPER IN MY EAR AND TELL ME I AM SAFE WITH YOU HOLD ME TIGHT. THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN I AM ALONE IN BED AT NIGHT.

YOU BROKE MY HEART! TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME AGAIN AND I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!! I JUST WANT TO SAY IT YOUR FACE AS LOUD AS I CAN UNTIL TEARS FORM IN MY EYES AND I START TO CRY AS I FALL TO MY KNEES BECAUSE IN REALITY I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.

I HATE THAT STRANGE FEELING CALLED LOVE!!

THE PURPOSE

I OFTEN TEND TO WONDER WHAT MY PURPOSE HERE ON EARTH IS. AND YET I STILL DONT HAVE THE ANSWER. I LOOK AT ALL THE BAD THAT HAPPEN TO ME SINCE BIRTH AND YET I ASK WHY ME? STILL WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? AND YET I STILL DONT HAVE THE ANSWER. SOME PEOPLE SAY WE NEVER REALLY KNOW OUR TRUE PURPOSE UNTIL IT'S TO LATE. WELL, I DON'T WANT THAT HAPPENING TO ME. MY PURPOSE, IS TO LIVE LOVE AND LEAVE A GOOD NAME BEHIND. MY PURPOSE IS TO KNOW THE MEANING IF STRUGGLE TO SEE THE PASSION THAT OTHERS HAVE. MY PURPOSE IS TO BREAK BARRIERS. SO PEOPLE CAN TRULLY SEE THAT THERE IS A WHOLE NEW AN BETTER LIFE AFTER PORN. I KNOW I OFTEN TALK ABOUT OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE, BUT I DON'T MEAN IT INA NEGATIVE WAY. IT JUST FRUSTRATES ME TO SEE PEOPLE HAVING TO STRUGGLE LIKE THAT BECAUSE I HAD TO STRUGGLE WITH IT AND I KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING IT CAN BE AND KNOWING THAT ITS NOT EASY IS EVEN MORE FRUSTRATING.

TODAY I LOOK AT THE WORLD AS BEING CRUEL AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. I HAVE A QUESTION, WHY DO GOOD HEARTED PEOPLE GET FUCKED OVER MAJORLY? FORREAL I MEAN I DONT GET IT AND I THINK ITS UNFAIR. DOESNT THE BIBLE SAY "TREAT PEOPLE ON HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED"? SO IF A PERSON IS BEING A GOOD HEARTED PERSON TO YOU DONT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD SHOW THAT PERSON THE SAME RESPECT? WHY DO FUCKED UP PEOPLE GET MAD WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING FUCKED UP TO THEM AS IF THEY ARE TRULY THE VICTIM? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE IN ALL THIS? WHY CAN'T WE ALL ACCEPT EACH OTHER AND LOVE ANOTHER? ESPECIALLY THE BLACK COMMUNITY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT LOVE WE USED TO HAVE WHEN EVERYBODY HAD EACH OTHERS BACK NO MATTER WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO FIGHTING ABOUT WHAT REALLY MATTERED INSTEAD OF FIGHTING ABOUT THE COLOR BLUE OR RED?

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS THE PURPOSE FOR ALL THIS? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PAIN?